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May Day 2012
2012-05-01, 10:27 p.m.

Three years and 12 hours ago, my brother died while I watched it happen. Today was going to be a rough day no matter how you sliced it.

Then I got into a text-fight with Jeff that lasted most of the day, the main blessing there being that we don't get into in-person fights anymore since he's moved out. It was still something I very much didn't need today though. When I asked him to give me a break for just this one day I got, "you're not the only one hurting." I later got a "Fuck you" and a "your an idiot" (I, at least, can use "your" and "you're" properly) and got told to grow up. All of those statements are very, very ironic and pretty much par for the course in his passive-aggressive assholery.

When I finally got home, I had legal papers in the mail to the tune of our first divorce hearing being pushed back by 5 weeks--very much thanks to him waiting until the last moment to hire his lawyer. By the time he did hire a lawyer, she was already scheduled to be in court on the original date of the hearing.

I'm starting to get very attached to someone who is quickly becoming my best guy-friend. He's single and available but "it isn't a priority right now" for him to date anyone... And since I can't quite wrap my head around that, I don't really know what that means, exactly. I've suspected him to be asexual, which also baffles me. Anyway, we're just friends... And probably never will be more than that. However, "more than that" intrigues me a bit. He certainly would challenge me to always be at the top of my game... Such a change from the complacency I came to be used to in my marriage. Anyway, Mr. Best-Guy-Friend made me smile while my Not-Nearly-Soon-Enough-Ex-Husband was making me want to smash things and set small animals aflame. At this moment, I am very, very thankful for Mr. Best-Guy-Friend.

And otherwise, I am 100% mentally and emotionally exhausted. Today was the worst May Day since 3 years ago.

last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03

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