Mood: In pain
Watching:
Reading: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Nostalgia
2007-07-30, 10:51 a.m.

The second trimester is upon us now... Maybe it's due to the lack of serious nausea, but the first 14 weeks really flew by on this one. Not like last time. I've had plenty of days where I didn't feel great--I've been plenty sick enough to not forget that I'm pregnant, that is--but only 3 that I can remember when I was sure I was going to vomit. Maybe 4... Anyway, no vomiting this time, thankfully. Unfortunately, one of those 4 days was yesterday, so it isn't quite over yet. Also, much to my chagrin, I'm having backaches sooner this time. I actually broke down and scheduled an appointment with my dad's chiropractor for later this week because I actually am in a great deal of pain. I think one of my ribs popped out. All this and my uterus is still well below my belly button. Can't wait for the third trimester, heh.

Ah, but that's all not exactly news worthy, I guess. Last night I was thinking about my 10 year High School Reunion that I finally decided not to attend. It's coming up on this Saturday and I'm still getting emails about it, though I never RSVP'ed and have made no indication that I'm interested at all. I guess I feel the need to justify my position, if only here and to you 3 or 4 readers who are in no way involved. I didn't hate High School. In fact, while I was there, I think that I thought I really enjoyed myself. If anything, it was my home life during my teenage years that I look back on with spite and dread. School was good. People were every bit as much a pain in the ass as they are now, but I appreciate that. Call it training for real life. The only difference is that now most people are so wrapped up in their own lives that they don't always take notice of the rest of us. Not everyone though, and for the handful of assholes and busybodies that remain, I thank high school with my entire being because it prepared me for them.

That said though, and even though I had a fine time at the time the further I get away from it, the less I care to go back. If we'd have had a 5-year reunion, I would've almost certainly gone. I do indeed plan to go to the 15-year if it is convenient for me, still living in the area, etc. I have no interest in going now for 3 main reasons. The most superficial is my pregnancy. I'm at the stage where I'm not "glowing," I'm barely showing and good luck finding any clothes, maternity or otherwise, that won't make me look like a cow. If I were over 20 weeks, then I might not have this excuse, but as it is...

Secondly, I've been registered at classmates ever since I was in college. To date, I've only been contacted twice. The first was a good friend of mine from my senior year that I think I mentioned before, Toni. We were pretty close for about a minute until she went a little bit crazy, then we graduated and more or less went our separate ways. Because of how her personality had changed I wasn't sorry. Now, she is a much different person, it seems, but she's also much different from me. We really don't have anything in common anymore. We still have casual contact through mostly MySpace, but we don't have much to say to eachother. The second person to contact me was my ex-boyfriend from middle school, who didn't seem to have any kind of agenda for why he contacted me at all. I really don't know to this day why he bothered, other than if he thought it'd be impressive to me to know that he married the girl he knocked up back in high school and they now have 2 additional children. He really didn't even go into any details there either, if his goal was to "brag." So, we are no longer communicating. Out of all of the other people on classmates and MySpace, no one else has bothered to try to reach me, which in my mind indicates that they don't have any interest in talking with me. That'd be more or less the reason why I haven't contacted any of them either.

And the third reason, which kind of hit me like an epiphany and was the deciding factor in my not attending the reunion: When I am back in my hometown and I do spot someone in public, I avoid them. I don't go out of my way to say hello and I usually DO go out of my way to not be seen. When I have had no choice, such as a couple of times when someone I went to school with happens to turn up as our server in a restaurant, we both mutually pretend to not know eachother. So then it occurred to me, when I make it my goal to avoid these people and NOT talk to them face-to-face, why, oh why would I go somewhere where they all are, together?!?!? So that was it.

I liked high school, but I'm not ready to go back just yet.

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