A couple of things have been bouncing around my head lately...
1. Life is really just one big social experiment.
2. Growing up is weird, specifically due to labels.
I can probably do topic 2 in the fewer number of words, so I'll start with that one. I've just taken note recently that as kids, er... teenagers, specifically, I guess... We like to believe that we are all special snowflakes and that no one really knows us at all. "You don't know me/you don't know my life," as the kids like to say these days. All that bullshit that the high school guidance counselors like to feed us about how we're still finding out who we are and such. I can't really remember how I felt about that, personally, but it seems like we all must've thought that was garbage. I mean, like, I know who I am... Right? Who are you to tell me I'm not who I think I am? Or that I haven't decided who I am?
And then we grow up... We are definitely who we are--sometimes to a fault--and we spend hours on the internet trying to find other peoples' definitions of what that is. Myers-Briggs! Please, please tell me who I am and what it means?? Please tell me why I am this way and how I should handle it? Who should I hang out with so I don't get burned the way I did in the past before I knew who you think I am? Doctors! Please tell me what's in my head because I can't sort it out? Please slap me with a label! Please figure me out! Am I depressed? Am I bipolar? Is it worse than that? Please tell me so that I can buy books and search Pinterest and finally make some sense of why I do these things!
I am, by no means, innocent of this. I am describing myself, to be sure.
I suffer from depression, even in the best of times.
I am an empath.
I am an INFJ (a new discovery--WooHoo!).
I am a geek.
I am a mid-level mature soul.
And I use those labels... A lot. I wear them as sure as I wear clothes every day. When there is conflict, I lean on them like a crutch, helping myself understand why I am not connecting properly with whatever person or thing is involved.
I am an empath, so your discord upsets me.
I am an INFJ... I just KNOW things and can't explain it.
I am depressed... You stomped on my trigger just then.
I don't expect much of some people--they're obviously young souls.
Etc...
I guess I don't have a deep, meaningful summary to reach. I've been observing this so much lately, on both sides of the fence and have found it very fascinating, indeed.
8:29 p.m. - 2015-01-25
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