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Just another week...
2011-02-26, 11:34 a.m.

Heh... My daily horoscope through one of the questionable Facebook Apps popped up with a blank field for my sign today. That seems about right...

After agreeing to separate--and I thought agreeing to the timeline--my husband's head has found it's way back into his rectum. I calmly gave him space through most of the week, only having reminded him once at the end of Monday that we didn't have the conversation with the kids about it over the weekend like he said he would join me for... I asked him on Tuesday if he had said anything to his parents, so I could be prepared when I saw them to drop off the kids in the afternoon. Then we had what I thought was a very productive text conversation on Tuesday night in which we talked about how we got to this point and he said plainly that he still thought we should separate, in spite of having asked for forgiveness for his part in the ugliness. He'd said he wanted to take the time apart to "clear his thoughts and figure out how to make his life better." That seems like a good, reasonable and respectable goal.

Then there was nothing for two days... Friday morning I'd told him that I observed that he didn't seem to be getting anything together to make it happen, and he probably should since we agreed it would start this weekend. He said, "to be honest, I haven't really thought about it."

*Nuclear Explosion in my Brain*

This goes straight back to anything I've ever said about me melting down... It' takes just so ridiculously much bullshit and frustration to get me to that point of coming unglued. Jeff has been dancing all over that breaking point for months, and has paid the consequences for it. It took him nearly 14 years to get me to this point. I fear there's going to be another big blowout when he arrives home tonight.

I wish he would've just gone quietly. When it seemed like we had similar goals and were seeing eye-to-eye about separating and such, I actually had hope for the long-term outcome. Maybe many, many months from now (or longer) we can both be emotionally cleared and healed to the point of being able to start over... I thought maybe that could've happened. The longer this goes on, the worse the chances of that are. If the only way for me to get him to give me any space and/or peace is to file for divorce, then that'll be the end.

WTF? He's home in the middle of the day? Jesus Christ...

last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03

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