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Abandon all hope, ye who enter here--not cheerful.
2011-04-02, 11:39 a.m.

Attachment... Been thinking about this a lot lately. I used to be able to form an attachments at the drop of a hat--a warm look, a smile, a touch, a certain combination of words was all it would take. Was that healthy? Probably not. I'm sure that's how I ended up married and ultimately in the array of situations that I've found myself in right now.

Now... I feel differently--and I don't like it. I can feel that tendency toward attachment, but it feels like a faint shadow of what it once was. It doesn't feel like something that's happened because I've matured or become more realistic about such things. It feels like something that's happened because I've lost so much trust in so many people over the past year. Goes back to something I've said in a recent entry about no longer trusting that people want the same things that I want. I just assume people want... Well, nothing--from me, at least. It's thoughts like these that lead me to think that I may be somewhat damaged from the experiences that I have had ("Somewhat Damaged?" This is familiar--must find this...).

I just don't have a lot of hope that happiness is out there anymore. I can't remember what it felt like.

last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03

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