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Ockham's Razor of choice making
2010-08-09, 2:02 p.m.
Courtesy of one of the links under "recent public entries" to my/your right, I give you this blog's link,
It made me smile when just about nothing else has today. I smile at my kids, of course, but I also have a short fuse due to a creeping, crushing sense of reality and looming PMS... Plus not enough sleep, but that's normal. Speaking of sleep, I had an opportunity to write down a dream this morning when one of the kids or Jeff woke me up way to early as they shuffled around. I decided quickly that continuing to sleep was too important, the dream was not significant and I'd write down whatever I could remember when I got up for good. Yeah, I don't remember any of it.
With reference to my last entry--with the lyrics to Rush's Freewill as suggested by John due to the general consensus that I am refusing to decide what I want or to pursue it... "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." I have always loved that lyric. I wonder though... It was pointed out to me both last night and again, ad nauseum over the past several weeks that it appears to all that I have made my decision but am refusing to pursue it.
Maybe I did make my decision, and maybe I'm not the one who refuses to take things at face value this time. Maybe my decision wasn't to turn away from my marriage in pursuit of something more fulfilling. Maybe I was just making the choice to become an adulteress. Maybe it's as simple as that.
I do apologize that everyone who got involved with this choice is/are too good to be stuck in this situation that I've chosen. I don't claim to be making the right choice or a moral choice. However, in my life that has been so filled with selflessness and making sure that everyone else's needs were met ahead of my own... I do claim that this was my one turn to selfishness. It goes against every fiber of my being to find happiness in this way, but it was bound to happen sooner or later.
You're right. I made my choice and things will never be the same.
Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03
be sorted @ nimbo.net
