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More marriage ponderings amid the ticking of the clock
2010-11-03, 12:46 p.m.

Hmmm... What to write, what to write...

Pondering some posts on Facebook regarding newlyweds, marriage and the like... I don't think the purpose of marriage in today's world is to necessarily find someone with whom to live happily ever after, per se. Some people do just that--and more power to them. Roughly half of marriages are still staying together these days? Maybe half of those are in some state of terminal unhappiness but staying together due to financial issues or "for the kids" or for whatever reason. That still leaves something like a quarter of married people who are with their perfect match--and maybe those aren't great odds, but imagine if you're in that 25%--how great the rewards must be. It's kind of a gamble worth taking, honestly. But I digress... The purpose of marriage in today's world I think is to cement something that isn't supposed to be disposable in a world where EVERYTHING is disposable/recyclable. Marriage, a committed relationship--as I've said before, should not be an easy thing to walk away from. There should be hoops to jump though to end it--you really should have to want it... Badly. There should be steps and processes and time spent in which you can ponder, "have I really tried everything?" and "is this really what I want?" before the end. It's not enough to just start to feel bored or spot a slight unraveling. Getting married is a way of saying to someone, "You're important enough to me that I'm going to put in some effort to keeping you in my life."

Imagine the despair and angst in a world where there was so much uncertainty and know one really knew, "Is today the day that my partner is going to reveal to me that they're not feeling it anymore and walk away?" Granted (and I completely recognize this, so put the pitchforks down), that still happens in a marriage--frequently, according to statistics and such--but as I said, it still is a process. It is a process not only the ending but also the deciding to end. Thinking about what you've promised, what you've invested, why you did those things to begin with--what it was worth to you at the time...

Paraphrased quote: "Getting married isn't going to change much in your relationship--it's just going to make it harder to break up."

Thank God for that.

Now, pondering aside... What do you do when you reach a place of a true "deal breaker" situation or a terminal unraveling?

*spotlight shines on my head*

I feel sometimes like I'm sitting alone in a dark room listening to a ticking clock. Whether what I'm waiting for is an alarm or a bell to denote the end of an era and the beginning of the next, or a massive explosion that will level everything I know and believe--that part is yet to be determined. But the clock is ticking...



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Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03





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