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Sprang a leak, and it all came flying out.
2010-11-13, 5:14 p.m.

Oh, I don't even remember where I left off--it would serve me well to go back and re-read my last entry. Will I do it? No.

Two or three days ago, my brick-wall-facade sprang a terminal leak, and most everything it was holding back came gushing out. Must've been Wednesday, I guess (today's Saturday). Jeff was home in the morning for two days in a row and for two days in a row I stayed in bed past noon--I haven't done that in ages. I could chalk it up to general lack of sleep, but I was also hiding. Hiding from not only the conversation that I didn't want to have to have, but also from the wave of nausea that hits me every single day within moments of full consciousness.

Anyway, on Wednesday I dragged myself out of bed when I heard Jeff leave to take Jack to preschool--mainly to call him to see if he was coming straight home afterward or if he had some reason for staying away till it was time to pick Jack back up from school. He was coming home... Conundrum...

I dragged myself around the house for a while, looking rather disheveled, until finally we crashed in the kitchen. Jeff and I, standing across the room from eachother--just staring. A few curt words were exchanged and finally, it all came out--all of the information (well, mostly) that I had been collecting, and the basic idea of how I got it. It wasn't really a fight--it's certainly been worse.

And now... Well, the nausea's better (overall--still have some waves here and there). We didn't really voice any compromises, make any promises, make any threats, issue any decrees, forbid anything, allow anything specific... It's just kind of "out there." Bizarrely, we're more civil in the past few days to each other--which is a good thing. Unfortunately though, I don't know where things really stand. I have to assume that he's still doing some of the things he was doing, because I didn't tell him to stop, even though he's also speaking to me now. He did have a clever story for how the "deal-breaker side-dishes" came into the picture. It's one of those stories that no one would ever believe, but very, very in-line with any other story I've ever been given to explain the unexplainable.

Then, the "main course..." He was pretty surprised to hear what I knew about that. He didn't have a story prepared. I spoke, he stared, we both walked away. *shrugs*

I'm just happy to not be fighting...

last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03

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