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Monday Anxiety
2010-12-13, 11:33 a.m.

My Monday anxiety seems to be back today. I'm not altogether sure why, other than that it seems to really hit me on Mondays after weekends where I become totally convinced of what the future of my life looks like (meaning that the future looks different than the present). I'm hoping thought that the anxiety really has more to do with the weather, though--specifically driving to and from work in this snowstorm.

Once again, I'm feeling really isolated--and I think that also plays a big part in my anxious feelings. I do better when I'm either in the midst of some kind of social interaction, or otherwise not expecting to be amongst people at all. I can do solitude (quite well, actually) if I'm expecting it and preferably on my own terms. Maybe that's why I'm liking work so much in the past several months. I am part of a group there, and I seem to fit in (even if our common thread is dysfunction). I can't say I'm not just a slight shade nervous about that changing if I got a new job or new position or even just the same job on a new shift, but it'd be better to attempt to be in a happy place for the 16 or so hours per day that I'm away from work rather than just being happy in those 8-10 hours that I am at work. Plus, that environment being my most contented place--especially for the purpose of the camaraderie with my coworkers and minions--isn't very conducive to getting actual work done. Figure then 1.) what's the point and 2.) if I'm not as productive as I could be then eventually my job won't be as secure as it should be. In that case, I'm fucked.

Off to find something to put in my stomach to make it settle down.

*tips hat*

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Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
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