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So really, What would make YOU happy?
2005-06-25, 10:43 p.m.

Labor and childbirth are painful... This I understand. Yet still, people make it a point to comment on how painful it was for them or to point out to me that it will be painful for me.
I didn't have really much issue with the idea of a C-section from the beginning of this pregnancy. I figured, if that's how it goes then, fine, that'll just be how it goes. Then my stepmom and brother make a point to relay stories of pain and agony that they've been told. "You don't want to have a C-section." I've been told on more than one occasion. So then, thinking that I was getting down to a place where there really was no other choice, I became very apprehensive about the whole thing... Frantic even, at times. Anyone who knows anything about anything physical can tell you that anxiety isn't going to make the situation any better.
But then, alas, we're putting the C-section on hold for a trial induction beginning tomorrow night. Today, I get a call from my mom... "You do NOT want to be induced..." Oh for goodness sakes! Now why, oh why, would you say that to someone who is already set to go, appointment made and doctors standing by? Why would you even think it? Yes, I realize that Pitocin contractions are worlds different than natural oxytocin contractions. Yes I realized that most people report more pain with Pitocin. I am fully aware of this. I'm also fully aware that it is going to be no picnic trying to squeeze out a baby that's pushing 9 pounds in weight.
So then, like an idiot, I decide to go online and look up facts and reports about induced labors. Here's all this stuff about, if the uterus isn't ready to receive the Pitocin then the induction has a better chance of being unsuccessful, blah, blah, blah. Then I get to thinking, well... Everyone was very quick to pull the idea of induction off the table, basically telling me to not even think it. Now suddenly, I have an appointment and it's the best plan. How did this happen? Granted, while I trust my doctor to know what she's talking about, I trust the perinatologist even more since he deals with all those high-risk conditions etc. So, if he is suggesting induction when just the day before my regular doctor reminded me again that they wouldn't be doing one, then I have to guess that he has a better perspective on the situation, right? Plus, figure that while it's somewhat unlikely there is the possibility that I might have dialated/effaced even more on my own before medical assistance is given. That'd make things go even more smoothly. Mom insisted that my husband and I go walking for at least an hour tomorrow, just to give it one more chance to move along on its own. So there, my choices are 1.) Go to a crowded mall for the air conditioning and do laps or 2.) Walk outside in the 90+ degree heat.
It really is just too bad that I'm not having twins so that everyone can tell me how hard THAT would be too.

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