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The price of admission
2010-08-09, 2:26 a.m.

My new read, "lust-," posted something tonight that I can identify with, if only for this moment...

I mentioned my all-influential sex/relationships podcast of which I try to catch all or most of the episodes, even if I'm not prompt about it. I didn't give the title, but for the most part--in spite of his conservative-bashing and religion-bashing tendencies (it should be noted that I'm not even Christian right now)--he deserves a plug for all of the insight I've gotten over the months. The podcast is "The Savage Lovecast" or "Savage Love" and the host is Dan Savage. He also blogs and writes a column, or so the podcast says--I've never looked up any of his written stuff, though I'm sure I'd find it either insightful, entertaining or both.

Anyway, one of the things that Dan talks about frequently is "the price of admission" in a relationship. These are the things with which we all put up with and put aside for the sake of being in a relationship with someone who we otherwise would or do love very much. For some, the price of admission is something small, like someone's messy housekeeping habits that just happen to be the one big pet peeve of their partner. You ask, "Do I love this person enough otherwise to pick up their shit and clutter behind them that they repeatedly leave although I've told them it bothers me? Am I willing to accept this one (or a few) totally annoying thing for the sake of enjoying the other wonderful things that this person offers me?" To most people, eventually, they meet someone for whom the answer is "yes, that's small, though utterly maddening, potatoes in the big picture." Other times, the price of admission is a big issue, like ten years of legal stigma that will eventually infiltrate and infect all aspects of your life. For ten years, when you're rather young and invincible and your whole life is ahead of you, sure--even that can be made to seem like rather small potatoes for the sake of being madly in love.

However, the point is that there is always, always a price of admission that each partner will have to reconcile with themselves privately in each and every serious and potentially long-term relationship prospect. There is always something that you must be willing to muscle your way past in order to achieve a higher happiness in the partnership.

Always.

If you are unwilling to get past it, tolerate it or even accept it, then you are standing in the way of your own true happiness.

And for what?

last - next

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