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In my estimation, Satan weighs about 230
2006-11-24, 7:29 p.m.

Thanksgiving is over and we are heading full steam ahead for Christmas... I think I still have the fall template up... I'll have to fix that then...

Thanksgiving with the family was about par for the course, with the exception of having a toddler who has absolutely no sense of humor after having missed all of his naps for the day and spending the day being constantly over-stimulated by the visiting of various family members. Our whole day was basically over by 6 PM, when both my husband and my son could take no more. We came home and they both napped, while I spent some me-time in blissful silence (well, playing on the computer). We put together 3 dishes to take to our 2 feasts and had visited 4 different grocery stores to collect all of the components. It was fun though, and the dishes were, well, okay. Some turned out better than others, but all of them were at least good enough.

I'm seriously composing my jaw-dropping rant that is inevitably approaching regarding my in-laws. Actually, it's not even the in-laws, but the piece of shit that my SIL is dating (well, I don't think that "dating" is the right word, but you get it--her boyfriend). My mother and father-in-law are good people and usually seem to have good intentions, even if I don't always agree with their methods. I'm beginning to tolerate my SIL, or maybe I'm just back in my rose-colored-glasses phase with her, but I really believe (or want to believe) that she **thinks** that she's doing the best she can. I believe (or hope) that she **thinks** she is doing what is right by the kids. She's not correct in her thinking and she has mind-numbingly horrid judgement, but I believe that she thinks that she's trying. I believe that she thinks that she has done everything in her power to help her oldest daughter and it's just out of her hands now. I truly don't know or understand how she can think that, but I beleive that she thinks that there's nothing more she can do there. Anyway, as is normal for me, I really, really want to believe the best, no matter how naive it is of me to do so.

But the boyfriend... He is a waste of space, oxygen and especially time with regards to how much of it I've put in to thinking of how shitty he is. I do not approve of the way that he treats Nikki's kids and I do believe that he doesn't give much of a shit about them in the big picture. I believe that they are, to him, the equivalent of an ugly little puppy that the big, mean man would kick everytime he walks by it, but keeps it around anyway just because it's more like a piece of furniture than a living being or, dare I say, a part of the family. He's taken a fondness to them (well, most of them) mostly because they are there and there's nothing he can do about it. He'd probably be less distraught about them up and disappearing from the face of the planet than he was about the 4 cats that died in the recent fire. What can I say, he's just an asshole. I overestimate every, single person that I've ever met or have spent any kind of time with. Most of the time I know I'm doing it--I do it for me, more than anyone else, just wanting to believe that people are basically good and decent. I can't find any small thread to hold on to that will make him better, in my mind, than he is. No matter how I stretch or twist it, he's still a complete and total jackass-cretin.

So anyway, I don't like the way he treats the kids, but since he doesn't lay a hand on them in our presence (and I don't know for sure that he does outside of our presence for various reasons that are a long, compicated story to explain), there's not a heck of a lot I can do about that. SIL is their mother, not me, and me, I'm only an aunt by marriage. On the other hand, and I thought maybe he had more sense than this (okay--there's where I was previously overestimating him), I now have reason to believe that he will be disrespecting my own family at some point in the future when we all come together. I will not tolerate it. I can barely tolerate his general behavior that is disrespectful to the family, at large. However as to my immediate family: myself, husband, son and any future children, I will not stand for it. The family-in-law will see me in a state that they've never imagined and even if it means that I have to disrespect my mother- and father-in-law by engaging in an open conflict in their house, I will protect my family at all costs. He can throw his weight around and make everyone else feel like shit, but I am at the end of my rope. Heaven help us all if he crosses the line.

So anyway, I can't leave the entry like this when I truly am in such a high-spirited mood with the holidays coming and all. My tree is up and decorated, as are most of my random decorations and I even have gifts under the tree! Truthfully, they're from my grandparents, mostly to the baby, since they are leaving for Florida soon, but they're still there and they count. This is going to be a hard month, bill-wise, so I'm not jazzed at all about spending the money, but I am SO EXCITED to get out and do Christmas shopping. All I can say is thank God for income-tax-refund season coming up soon afterward! If I could trust my local post office in any sense of the word, I'd already have most of my shopping done online by now. I love Christmas!!!

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