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My favorite color is red--my scarlet letter suits me
2010-08-07, 1:19 p.m.

I've been pondering this one for a while, and it's still not fully formed... Let's see if I can work out a semi-coherent, complete thought.

Adultery...

*shudders* I'm really growing to dislike that word. I've also learned that it really doesn't mean anything to me--at least at this point in my life. Ten years ago, sure... Ten years from now, who knows? Now, not so much... Maybe it really is the shift back to Paganism that did it, or started it. Maybe it's all of the podcasts I've been listening to over the past year and a half where the host is not strictly pro-monogamy. I can remember not too long ago sitting across the table from Nikki saying, "Monogamy is dumb..." to which she answered, "Yeah..."

It was brought up to me that maybe I'm not as prone to polyamory as I thought. Maybe--I really do think that of all of the things to research, polyamory is one of those topics that really is worth some time spent gathering other peoples' first hand accounts and finding out where the common pitfalls are. There's no need for everyone to tumble down the same rabbit hole each and every time when everyone who's ever been on the path knows it was there. Research may not be applicable to all situations, because everyone is different, as I am repeatedly made aware of. However, I think polyamory is a grey area.

Anyway, adultery... I really have a hard time understanding sometimes why and how everyone is still getting into such a twist whenever they hear of incidences of adultery--most especially when it involves celebrities or politicians. For private citizens, sure maybe a little shock is in order (after all, adulterers are like serial killers--we look just like anyone else). But even still... I can remember back in the 90's when I did my part as a good Republican and bashed Bill Clinton for his affair. 1.) My taxes help pay the electric bill in the Oval Office, so "do work son," as they say... and 2.) He's the head of the fucking country for Chrissakes. Little kids look up to the President and want to be THAT someday. In our prudish society, being THAT to a small aspiring child should not have a pre-packaged sex scandal attached to it. So there's the argument there--the more mainstream and "out" these affairs get, the more desensitized we will become to them. I said it then, and I am living proof now.

I'll admit, I still have the knee-jerk "what a piece of shit that person is" response when I hear about some extramarital scandal in the news. I felt kind of bad for Tiger Woods' wife when their scandal broke... For about 10 minutes. Then I just thought, "Well, yeah... Of course he was having affairs. He's rich, good-looking, famous and constantly on the road. Allowance for adultery should've been written into their pre-nup." Seriously. Most of my feeling bad for her was tied into the publicity of it all.

Skipping back a few steps, because my thoughts don't move in a straight line... Even after my obligatory conservative judgment of Bill Clinton, I couldn't help but be fascinated by the situation. I bought and read Monica's biography and came out of it identifying more closely with Monica than with Hilary (not that Hilary is the most charismatic, magnetic figure). I think it was about that time that I realized that I have a fascination with the way that people operate within relationships and all of the many dynamics included in all of the different situational variants. Part of my current R&D projects really is the research for my own decision-making, but I think part of it is taking delight in having a reason to get people to tell me their stories--where I would've never had any business asking for them before.

Paraphrasing my podcast host... Monogamy over an entire lifespan is not natural to the human condition. If you can manage to survive through a multi-decade committed, "monogamous" relationship with only one or two gaffes, then you're still pretty good at monogamy. *raises eyebrow*

last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03

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