Mood:
Watching:
Reading:

Cheap thrills
2010-07-29, 1:50 a.m.

A bunch of people from work are going out tomorrow night... Weird that it's a Thursday Night, but the schedule in production is about to change in August and something about Friday being the late night for the crew that most of my techs associate with... So anyway, Thursday after work, it is. I've invited Jeff, if only to minimize the scrutiny that I will endure by going alone. I don't see getting a baby sitter on a week night though...

It's made me wonder a bit, though...

He's said to me through our talks in the past week or two... Through our "working" that if I need another person or people to make me happy, that he could be okay with that--as long as he knew about it before hand or immediately after something er... over the line... happens/happened. He suggested it may just be a quickie in a bar restroom someday (to which I answered "ew..."). I wonder though, the way things are going--the stripping away of things that have meaning to me for the sake of this work on our marriage... I wonder how far off it really is before having meaning is no longer an issue... Strip down and knock away the interactions and individuals with whom I can truly connect so that any connection, no matter how cheap, will do the job? Temporarily, at least? All I know is that this empty feeling that is inside of me is stuck. Everytime I have to say to him, "you don't understand me" or he has to say it to me (which has begun to happen), I feel slightly more crushed and dead.

Today was a bad day...

last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03

be sorted @ nimbo.net