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Cycles of anxiety
2005-06-17, 1:55 p.m.

Yesterday, I was all in favor of the C-section idea. More time off from work, no stretching out of parts that I'd just as soon not have stretched out, probably a little extra sympathy from most, no pushing or breathing or mind-bending contraction pain... C-section certainly does have some draws. My supervisor had 2 and she says it was the way to go. She recovered quickly and with minimal discomfort according to her. Some people do... Some people don't. Which would I be? I have no way to know. Am I going to be incapacitated for weeks and weeks and then uncomfortable for months to come? Will I be on my feet and feeling all right within a couple of weeks? Do I even really have a choice at all? When it comes down to it, if the doctor says that the baby is big enough that there would be considerable risk for him to come out naturally, then the choice is made for me. I'm not going to put him at risk for shoulder dystocia which could lead to nerve damage for him or having to have the doctor break his poor, little collar bone to get him out or something like that. I'm not going to risk having him be in distress from hours of me pushing with no results and then have to have a C-section anyway.
I hope he decides to get this party going before the ultrasound on Friday. Then at least we've got a fighting chance.

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