new | old | Private Archives | profile | rings | cast | email | book | notes | Blip | host | image | design

Mood:
Watching:
Reading:

An epiphany
2006-05-07, 12:17 p.m.

Caffiene really should be a controlled substance. I think it is my one true addiction. Not coffee, necessarily, but definitely caffiene. Coffee may just be the most efficient way of getting the most bang for my buck though when it comes to getting it into my system. I missed it so much when I was pregnant and actually really hated being able to have it again after Jack was born because I knew I'd be back to being hooked in no time. Aaah, but anyway...

It seems like all I do lately is think of something else. Sometime else... Sometime in the future when I'm doing whatever is next. My job bores me and it, half the time, pisses me off. I realized the one truth of progression in my department. People come in, they hate it at first invariably because truly, no matter what anyone says they believe, the entry level position does suck. It is never the thing that people imagine they'd be doing with themselves after they spent 4 or more years in college-land to get their shiny piece of paper to say that they are in debt for the next 10 years. Some of them bail; the rest of us work, some harder than others. Some get promoted, some learn new things, some get moved to other groups within the department and feel like you're really going somewhere. The future is bright. And suddenly, for those of us who are "right-thinking" (quotation marks because it's really only an illusion), the future is bright. The time spent in the crappy, entry-level spot and then whatever you're doing now is really paying off. You are going somewhere. Then you see the cheese at the end of the maze--it's beautiful. As you get closer though, you see that there is a big, ugly, lazy rat atop the pile of cheese, hoarding it all for himself, delegating all the work and keeping all the glory. He is basking in the love and admiration of the management while the rest of us make him look good. To a certain extent, that's how it's always been. Some of the rats were more generous than others; some where supervisors, some are not, but it all means the same thing to the rest of us. There is only present in what I'm doing now, no future.



last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03





Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker




i'm in ravenclaw!
be sorted @ nimbo.net
Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com