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Mood: I feel like my situation has crossed a line and I can already see the next threshold. It doesn't even feel like "the music is speeding up." It just feels like... Finality. Finality is one of the things that I feared over the summer and that fear is what caused so much frustration across the board for everyone involved. I guess I just needed to get to the point where there was no fear. No... Scratch that--How can there ever not be fear in this situation? I guess the fear is overshadowed by both necessity and exhaustion--neither of which had I really been experiencing much of in the summer scenario. It was more like "option" and "annoyance" at that point; it has progressed since then. Strong Woman, Strong Mother, Strong Witch... Stick with me, Samhain Fairies... Unless there is a change in the situation that is both dramatic and completely unexpected (to the point of near-impossibility), I think I'm going to ask Jeff to move out after the holidays--if we can even make it that long. I'd like to wait till February to get through Rowyn's birthday too--but that might be asking a lot of me. He is completely out-of-control now, and though I think that the only damage he can do is further levels of neglect to both me and the family, I'm feeling some nervous paranoia that there's potential for more problems--mainly financial. Instability = Unpredictability. I hate unpredictability. Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19 be sorted @ nimbo.net |