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Generations
2005-07-09, 9:34 p.m.

I told Jeff yesterday that I would be willing to do this again, even if it means another C-section (which, it probably will). Actually, if it didn't mean any more C-sections, I might do it more than once, but as it is, probably just one more time. Jack has been worth every ache and pain and scar and stretchmark that has come my way. And, as a bonus (knocking on wood), I really think that after all the skin and muscles shrink back down and as long as I don't go on too many junk food binges, that maybe... Just maybe, I'll come out of this looking somewhat normal, which, honestly, will be a first for my family. Add in Pilates whenever I can once all my muscles are safely fused back together, and I'm quite hopeful. I really don't even think that the C-section scar will be all that bad. Of course, I can't hardly even see it now from all the loose skin, but as best I can tell, it really just looks like a crease in the skin. Speaking possibly a little too soon, but those doctors really seemed to do a really good job in that department. Then again, I do very clearly recall at one point in the surgery hearing one of them say, "Hmm, I've never had that problem before..." That is officially the last thing one ever wants to hear while lying on the operating table with one's guts exposed to the world... Other than maybe to hear, "Whoops!" In the end, though, everything must've worked out because we all seem to be fine.
My in-laws came to visit a few days ago. Without fail, my father-in-law always finds some way to upset my husband. At this point, he is even considering ceasing contact with his parents now, which, I hate to say I might be in favor of. It's not that I don't like or get along with my in-laws. They love me and, in spite of whatever shortcomings they might have in terms of tact or compassion or respect for my husband, I think that they think that they mean well. Under it all, they are good people; for some reason, however, my father-in-law has a need to bring my husband down at every opportunity. I almost think that he (father-in-law) needs to do/say such things, pointing out mistakes that have been made and areas where he feels my husband has fallen short, to make himself feel more important and successful. Truly, it's completely ass-backwards because normally you'd think parents would ignore their children's mistakes so that they would feel like more of a success at being a parent. I don't get it. Anyway, whenever this happens my husband kind of shuts down for a day or so as he stews over whatever his father has said to him. It's not healthy for any of us, which is why I almost think that the best thing would be for them to have some space from eachother. However, if that were to happen, I think that they should sit down and have a talk, which would inevitably probably turn into a blow-out, about what the problem is. Disappearing and cutting off contact without any explanation just leaves everyone in a bad place; there is no amount of time that will cure that and you can't ever reconcile under those circumstances. Also, I'm a little worried about Jack now that he's here. I know that the dis-encouragement and the cutting down will just be transferred onto him too--I've seen it happen with the nieces. I sort of think though, that one thing stopping my husband from making such a drastic move with regards to his family, and I hate to say it, is inheritance. His father claims that there is a fair bit to be passed on thanks to all of his retirement funds and investments. Truly, and again I hate to say it because of how shallow it sounds, it would be a shame for my husband to have stuck it out this long and taken the borderline-emotional abuse from his father and not have anything to show for it in the end. Of course, if the past is any indication, we'll probably get screwed and most of it will go to his free-loading sister and her ingrateful children.

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Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
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Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03

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