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Home away from home
2005-11-23, 9:11 a.m.

Aaaah, time for an update.

On this day last year (the day before Thanksgiving, I mean, not the date), I was puking my guts out in the parking lot of Applebee's near where my husband goes to school. Viva le morning sickness, eh? That is, for sure, one memory I'll have for the rest of my life.

Nikki is "home" now, but not really. She sounded a bit confused when I said that to her on the phone yesterday. And yes, I know why... We've had this discussion before. I guess my view of things is just different. No matter where you take your "home" you can't change your roots. Your hometown is just something one has to accept. Regardless of anything else, it will always be the historical home which you can't escape no matter what you do or how much you may want to. Even if you never go back, it's always there, and it can't be helped. It's home. It may not be the home that you get the warm and fuzzies over anymore. It may not be the home where you sink down into your favorite chair and put your feet up anymore. It may not be the place where your favorite smells are anymore. But it is the place that made you what you are, and that's just how it goes. A place like that deserves to be called by its right name. It's home, even when you are away from home. I hope my brother feels that way, now that he's moved away too.

But then, as I said, my views are apparently a little different than some. When I moved away a few year back, I didn't go very far. I was only about an hour away, but living and working in places where I'd never before had the need to go and so they were as unfamiliar to me as if I'd moved to the other side of the country. At that time, I was glad to go. I needed to get out of the line of fire for a while. The solitude did me good. After a while though, I was much happier to be back where I knew things. When I moved back for good, it was a strange kind of relief. Personally, I don't care in the least if I never run into or catch a glimpse of someone I used to know while I'm out. Oddly, it's not the people that does it for me here. Actually, I prefer to not see anyone I know. I'm interested in knowing ABOUT people... What they're up to, how they're doing, etc. I just don't ever need to see or speak to them. It's just the place that I like, I guess. Not the town where I grew up, specifically--that place is a hole--just the area, especially where I am now.

Ah, but I digress... So that was my first crack of putting anything of me in this diary, at least since my last diary. Any other time, I probably would've left a lot out for fear that things I say would be perceived as criticism. I no longer have need of a diary as a communication tool, for anyone.

last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03

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