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Thinking about The Myth
2010-09-18, 11:26 p.m.

Mmmmm... A sleeping house is a good house. As far as I know, I have a good house at the moment. Husband went to bed without saying goodnight and neither of the children are in their own beds, but the net effect is that it's a win. I should make a cup of tea...

Today was actually really productive, even if I did sleep in till eleven o'clock, thanks to the kids sleeping over at my dad's house. My kitchen is reasonably cleaned, washed some laundry, put away a shit-ton of clean clothes, straightened the kids' rooms, threw away some old toys, got my hair cut, took the kids to a soccer game at the local high school (just for something different), had dinner as a family, knitted an abysmal four rows on my current project and am now typing this diary entry as I wait for time to wash the dye out of my hair so that my 3-tone hair (brown, gray and black) can go back to being a solid black for a while.

While I was putting away laundry--listening to NIN on my iPod and stuck between realities--I was thinking about a statement made to me not too long ago about how marriage seems like a myth. My thought at the time was to not agree. The idea of marriage is nice... Just maybe the execution sucks. As I was sorting clothes I started to think, "No, not a myth... A boldfaced lie..." I was feeling a little bitter at the amount of household upkeep I'd done over the past several days without assistance from "my other half" of this union. Granted, when it came down to the current task, I had asked to be left to myself--but only that one--I needed time to stew. As I relaxed a bit, I've come to agree somewhat with the original descriptor. Myth is a good word--no one tells the truth about what it's really like to be married, what it's going to mean to you several years down the road when all you have left is your routine... We all hear the "Marriage is hard work" speech but not usually what is meant by that--the swimming upstream against nature and muscling past your instincts for the sake of the promise you made when you had no idea what it really meant...

I have come to wonder what I'm going to tell my kids about marriage when they're old enough to seem to wonder what I think (I choose my words carefully there--notice I didn't say "when they want my opinion..."). I think I'm going to tell my daughter to not consider marrying a man who has never lived on his own--really on his own, not just in a college dorm or similar setting. I think the men that snare wives in their twenties and have largely or completely never lived anywhere but with their parents, are the ones that maybe just can't bear to live without someone to "take care of them." I'm trying not to use the words "mother them" as it is so off-putting to men, but truly... some of them want/need it, even if they don't admit to it. I think that also becomes a problem for those men who maybe don't think they need it and are possibly right, because they keep running into girls who've seen the other side and don't know any better than to apply it universally to all men they meet. Anyway, I digress... So yeah, I'd tell her to only trust that a man can take care of himself on a day-to-day basis if he's done it before because he has had no choice. Otherwise, no matter how progressive he may seem to be, she runs the risk of falling into the "good little wife" role whether she likes it or not.

I have a wicked craving to watch "When Harry Met Sally" now. There is a lot of truth in that movie. I think I'll have both my kids watch it when they are old enough to handle the adult content, but before either of them are considering marriage. I also have a wicked craving to watch "Closer" and have had such for some time now. My kids can watch that one some day if they want, but I'll probably only recommend it if they are considering adultery.

Bah, I keep forgetting--I've been cooking up an entry relative to a google search I did a while back. "Twilight causes relationship problems" Okay, seriously--stop rolling your eyes--it turned up results, so I'm not the first to think of such a thing.



last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03





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