Mood: Pensive
Watching:
Reading:

This is what happens when I'm left alone
2008-02-17, 3:00 p.m.

Two sleeping children and a husband who is away at the grocery store... I have no doubt that there's something constructive I ought to be doing with this time.

Tonight is going to be an evening of firsts. Nikki and Kyle just moved into their new Ohio apartment earlier this week and we are their first dinner guests in the new place. This is also Rowyn's first trip out of the house since her birth and homecoming, excluding one trip to the doctor 3 weeks ago.

I guess I don't actually have a topic picked out for this entry. To finish the last entry about (not) having more children, I just wanted to say something that I'm sure I already wrote here during the pregnancy. I can't believe that this phase of my life is in the past. If all goes according to plan, I will never be pregnant again, never go through another labor or birth, never hold another newborn who is my own child. Every day of Rowyn's that passes will be the last of its kind for me. After today, the next time I'll feed or diaper a child who is 3 weeks and 4 days of age will probably be a grandchild, which I'm sure (I hope) is twenty-some-odd years down the line. I don't babysit and I don't see any other children coming my way in any other circumstances. When the nieces procreate (and they will), I really don't see us being very involved in that.

Not that I mind in most senses, I just can't believe that I'm this far into "real life" and that that part of it is over. You spend your whole young life wondering when you will have children, with whom, how many, what they will look like, etc. and now it's been here and gone. We move on to the next stages, which are equally wonderful, but it's another closed door and passed milestone in life. ...like finishing college--that's what I've always said about finishing college. You wait so long just to get to that place (or it feels like it, at least) and in a blink of an eye, it's over.

I'm sure it all has something to do with facing my own mortality and growing older, but it's just such an odd feeling.

last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03

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