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Just a little bit crazy
2006-09-06, 3:46 p.m.

I'm beginning to feel... Different... But I'm not sure that it's any healthier for me to feel this way.

I feel like I've launched myself into this increasingly social attitude, but I'm still feeling very cynical. What does that mean?

I feel like, with only a very few exceptions, I want to be in contact with people from my past, but mainly (now let me emphasize that there ARE exceptions) just for my own amusement. The handful of people who really made a difference in my life or who I really cared about are these exceptions. Everyone else, I just don't understand why I feel this way about them. I don't understand why I don't want them to continue to essentially be dead to me. I really don't expect them to add anything to my life in the long term. I find myself obsessing just a little bit, and I don't think that this is any better for me than just my usual, blatant, beautiful cynicism. Perhaps I'm in the midst of one of those quarter-life crisis deals? God knows I could use an excuse to find a better job.

Speaking of the job, with only being a little more than a week into my new schedule and back on second shift, I am worlds happier than I have been in months. This is me, settling. Where that might usually be a bad thing, for me at this time in my life, it's really okay. I need to just settle for what I can get right now in this limbo period while I'm waiting for Jeff to finish school. I need to be in something that is in some way connected to my career path (just in case I do continue working outside the home indefinitely), that pays the bills, where my hours are flexible and I can reasonably well contain the urge to have a disgruntled-postal-worker episode. This job meets all of those requirements now that I am on second shift again.

So I'm happy.

last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03

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