Mood: Angry
Watching: Don't forget the lyrics
Reading:

Still pissed
2008-02-07, 8:31 p.m.

At times, the idea of quitting my job, leaving our apartment and just picking up and moving out of town sounds very appealing. There was a time when I really wanted to stay in town, presumably forever, just to be near my family. Maybe it's a phase, but I really, really feel like I need some space right now.

Once again, my dad and stepmom were here tonight. I'm still not really over the events of the week when Rowyn was born. The more I see and the more I think about it, the more I feel like they are overstepping their boundaries as grandparents and encroaching on my and Jeff's parental territory. I fear that we have let them have too much time with Jackson in the past such that they feel more involved in his life and the decisions that affect it than the average set of grandparents. Maybe I didn't see it before because life tends to be busy when one is working, having a toddler, being pregnant and trying occasionally to get some time with one's husband. Maybe it only escalated to where it has ended up in the wake of him spending 4 days there while I was in the hospital. I'm not sure, but now I find myself in an awkward position. I could be direct, but how does it sound to say something like, "Back off. We're their parents and you are overstepping. By the way, I still need you for a regular weekly babysitting regimen once Jeff gets his career worked out and I go back to work. Are you free?" I could do that. I could avoid and just continue to be sullen and bitter everytime I see them and not give them any clue as to why I act the way I do. Results from that scenario seem equally promising.

So anyway, tonight I received a small lecture about how my stepmom was put off by her co-worker telling her that we gave notice of Jack's withdrawl from daycare this week (she and dad work in the same building as the daycare facility, but not for the daycare). She would've rather heard it from family, she says. Pardon me if the weekly update is not a priority for me right now. It isn't. At all... I'm not really sorry. I consider that news to be something we could talk about casually at no specific time in the future. It's not actually something I think should be important to anyone else in the family. Also, it wasn't anyone's decision to make but mine and Jeff's.

Conversely, I didn't much care for Jeff being told by the manager of the daycare (who is also the same co-worker who told my stepmom that we were taking Jack out) that Mary (stepmom) added Rowyn's name to the waiting list for the one-year-old rooms for next year. Mary spent the whole of my pregnancy telling me that I really should add Rowyn to the list as soon as she's born. Fine. I don't recall having the conversation where I asked her to take care of it for me. In my view, another example of liberties being taken regarding my kids.

That lecture was followed by the "what are you going to do about child care?" interrogation, to which my answer was, "we'll work it out," which is a close relative of, "whatever we have to." I am firmly against having them in daycare for the first year of their lives. We didn't do it with Jack and somehow we are not going to do it with Rowyn. It's practically a big neon sign from God that this is the right choice for us in that our daycare doesn't accept children under one year old. She acted like I was just planning to call up one day and ask her to leave work early twice a week starting today from now on.

Let us also take into account that we had already had the "what-if" scenario conversation months ago about what we might need for childcare and what could possibly be done to help us in the event of... Nothing has changed since we had that conversation.

I'm not sure if I've laid it out well enough, but the summary is: I'm frustrated. I feel like no one is listening when I talk (in the family, at least). I feel like I must be really easy to discount and people feel like it's not a problem to go over my head. I feel like once again, as in the past, there is no respect for me or the decisions I make from the people who claim to support me the most.

last - next

Women... And stuff... - 2012-08-19
Sniffles - 2012-08-18
Time to kill while waiting for a late dinner... - 2012-08-11
0.0 - 2012-08-05
Locked and Isolated in BlogLand - 2012-08-03

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