Mood: huge
Watching: Thomas the Train--The Best of James
Reading: The Blood Canticle

Getting Closer
2008-01-17, 8:59 a.m.

38 weeks 4 days...

My OB appointment yesterday found that I am no more dilated than I was last week: 1.5cm, 60% effaced. The baby has dropped to a -1 station, which is further down than Jack ever made it before the C-section. I am getting ever so slightly more nervous about the VBAC. Truly, I don't care about attempting a natural birth and ending in a C-section. Nothing new there--I know how that works. I just have a deathly fear of rupture during labor, which they (doctors) don't seem terribly concerned about since it is such a small risk, in percentages.

I think I'm going to let my due date be the signal. If I go into labor before my due date, then there must be a reason for it. If I hit my date, then I should take that as some kind of a sign in the other direction. My doc's next day to do surgery after that is the following day, but I think we'll go for the NEXT date open, which should be the 31st of this month. If I go past my due date anyway, I think she'll be pushing for the C-sections since our estimated weight suggests she could be as big as Jack was by that time.

I'm going to make a private entry... I really, really am...

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